Thursday, 26 February 2015

The Sharp Sting

Not of a bee or wasp, but of disappointment. Along with all the successes and highlights of being an artist, there are the untold disappointments and lows. This week has seen both for me, and although it has been lovely to spend time with my parents, get out and about and meet up with friends, there's no point in hiding behind a mask of a smile whilst inside you are beating yourself up with painful disappointment. 

As you can probably guess, not for me the dizzying heights of full-membership of the SBA but the call we all dread, not this year. Worse still, it wasn't even the quality of my work that let me down, but the works themselves. My poor 'little works' were exactly that, too little, "Not enough content". It would seem there needed to be, well, MORE! More plant, more flowers, more leaves. They would have been welcomed for any other exhibition, but when you are going for membership, you really need a full painting. My judgement was off in other words.  

Too little

Well, there needed to be more of the dahlia plant in this one

Well, I still stand proud behind these little pieces, I really enjoyed doing them and thought of them as a group of pieces that sat quite well together. Not quite enough for the judging panel for a candidate going for full membership though, so back to the drawing board for five new pieces. Specifically concentrating on more stuff going on in them. Enough said I think.

Too much?

Perhaps there is a bit too much going in this one 

So, how do you get over a disappointment? Well, there really are only two options, sink without trace, feel inadequate and give up, or take the fight right back to the source. I'm in the latter camp, and have always risen to a let down. Firstly with a level of rage and anger that could probably wake the old ancestors, just to get it out of the system. Then, when everyone has left me to seethe for a bit, a cunning and brilliant plan, (even if I do say so myself) is formed.

All my best ideas, clarity and logic seem to come from my deepest lows and fiercest rages, and like a dog with a bone, I don't give in or let it go. I just need to get to that stage, but it doesn't take long as really, in the grand scheme of things this really isn't anything to get heavy over. In other words, don't sweat the small stuff and get over it. 

So now to find, 'The Goldilocks' of botanical subjects. Not too little, not too much but just right. bring it on. Although to be honest, with so many other calls upon my attention this year, I am going to have a very full-on year. I just hope I can fit it all in.

Well, maybe it's time for this one to shine



vi said...

chickie i left you a rather long winded story in a pm on fb
but you know.this maybe a blessing in disguise for you long term

Laura Dicus said...

I am so impressed that you can call a turn-down from the SBA "small stuff". I also think your process of getting over it is very healthy. I too have that ancestral capacity for anger but don't let it out when I'm disappointed by others' reactions (or lack of) to my artwork. Good for you. It is a valid reaction. Good for you for not letting it stop you, for using it as the impetus for improvement.
BTW, love the Goldilocks reference.

Sketchbook Squirrel said...

Thank you Vi, I got your message and you're so right.

Sketchbook Squirrel said...

Thank you Laura. Yes we all deal with stuff in so many ways. I'm a bit volatile and explosive, but it never lasts. You have to be down in order to get up.

Whispering Earth said...

I LOVE the simplicity and beauty of your less fussy paintings. To me they are more modern and zen like than some of the more old fashioned SBA art. Your painting is beautiful! Don't let it get you down.

Aislinn Adams said...

Inspiring words (and fighting words tho). It sounds very healthy to me. I love the Goldilocks reference too. :)

E.M. Corsa said...

I think I've gotten to the point where I realize it's only the opinion of a few people. So be it.
Your work is beautifully executed. Take comfort in all the joy it brings to others, like me.

Janene said...

Jarnie, It'll be even sweeter when you do become a member because of this small setback. I am hoping to try for next year so wouldn't it be grand if we were both celebrating a year from now?! (I'd better get busy...)

Sketchbook Squirrel said...

Oh yes Janene, it certainly would be. And another great excuse for you to come over :)